Who Cares?

Growing up I was distinctly aware of everything I did. The way I dressed, did my hair, the pimple on my chin, the cool new shoes everyone else had, the next best accessory, decorations in my room, what was funny, who was the coolest, what I had to do to get in with a group of girls. Everything down to a tee. Even though this is maybe how I felt in let's say seventh grade I will never forget it.

Because dang it was exhausting, crippling even.

Then later on I realized that this was extremely negative. It took everything out of myself to put on this perfect facade. I am sure more than half of you reading this have felt this way at one point or another, just trying to fit in especially in those middle/ high school days.

But then one day I just started to get the mindset of “literally who cares?” If other people can do and act however they want why can’t I.

And doing this brought the best people into my life.

This took time, maturing, and aging. But sometimes I believe we think too deeply into things.

One time someone was talking about how they should respond to this cutie boy, reading into how he would take it and if they would like the response. All I said was “who cares, send what you want.”

(And I can see how that might seem harsh, but I meant in a way that life is too short to think so deeply into instances like this one. Maybe you send it and think… shit, what did I do? But it’s done isn’t it, and you put yourself out there. That is a pat on the back in itself.)

Because at the end of the day it is either gonna work out or it won’t and you’ll keep going. Think about maybe when you were at you lowest or something shitty just happened? Did you get up again? Did you get yourself together and put a smile on your face, even though all you wanted to do was crumple into a heap on the floor? You did. And you really always will. (even if right now it feels as if you may never be okay) That is always a good reminder for myself too.

You will go on, and you will be okay.

And if something doesn't work out… who cares!! We think too deeply and harshly into ourselves sometimes that we need to remember it’s just not that deep.

You shoot your shot and it goes bad.. Oh well! You failed that exam and now you’re stressing about passing the class.. Oh well it’s one exam it happens! You get rejected from a job… Oh well! You are nervous to go somewhere because of what people think of you.. Who cares? You’re in public and need to ask someone a question.. Who cares?

I find that some of my favorite experiences are with strangers. Because it seems so easy, for me at least, sometimes. In Charleston a couple weeks back I ubered downtown to meet some buddies and had the best uber driver. He told me about his life and how I will figure mine out, not to rush and that I already have great skills that I’ll be okay. And sometimes hearing a stranger telling you that you’ll okay is the best thing to ever grace your ears.

Okay, but maybe not the best examples. The who cares motto relates more to small things, how people perceive you maybe, or doing something that is best for you. And I am not saying nothing is a big deal… I am just trying to say there is nothing to do now, you can not change what has happened. You will always figure it out one thing at a time always.

And don’t worry I am not saying I have not overthought a text to a cute boy here and there. But as I have grown up I just think if they’re not going to like my response then they just don’t like me and that is okay. We don’t always like everyone anyways. We can not constantly strain for that validation because yes at the end of the day it can be nice, but also at the end of a year it may be physically draining.

When rejection comes into my life (which sucks but it happens) I just think okay wasn’t meant to be oh well. Well I might think that after days of critiquing everything about myself! But it comes eventually, I promise. Having the “life goes on” motto in my head has been a staple when things do not work out. Because 99 percent of the time things are not going to go as smoothly as you think. And that is the beauty of growth my friends.

For example, I never saw myself down south, I just thought it was not for me and I was comfortable up north. I mean I lived there for 18 years I knew my way around yah know. So when I chose a school it was one of those things where I thought, “everyone else seems to love it how could I go wrong?” But then that thing known as COVID happened and my freshman experience was straight ass. No easier way to say it. I think that maybe if corona did not happen I would have had more fun because stuff would be popping. But if I had enough fun then I would not have transferred and fell in love with the lovely state of South Carolina. That is kinda a dramatic example but I think it’s true. Even with rona it was hard to make the jump, but if that huge change that affected every single person in the world did not happen then I would not have found my happy place.

I talked about change a lot in my last post, so I will not go off. But I really do have to think about it like that. That one little catalyst can change your life forever. And how truly exciting is that. I could walk to get morning coffee tomorrow at a certain time and see the cutest doggie, how exciting. So you never know. That is why if something does not go your way or you begin to overthink, maybe put the “who cares” perspective into your head. Now I am not saying drop all your responsibilities and get crazy here! But when it comes to being harder on yourself and your actions be easy on yourself.

Easier said than done, trust me I am the queen of beating myself up when it comes to anything. But I need to remember to take it easy. Be still, enjoy, hell… throw your feet in the grass and just breathe.

But just try to remember that all you can do is what may be best for yourself. And even if you are just trying to get up in the morning and get by you are doing just fine. Give yourself a break once in a while a

And maybe think who cares! Or maybe touch some grass, just be baby, whatever floats your boat. But as I said earlier nothing beats a “you’re doing great” from a stranger so if no one has told you recently, you are doing great.

Kay

Who Cares?

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