The In Between
- Kay
- Jul 26, 2024
- 5 min read
Going home.
Big life update… I am officially moved out of my college house. How freaking weird is it that I had this whole life in Columbia, SC and now it is just over. I know that is a part of life when we have to close a chapter and move on to the next. But ugh is it hard.
I would say I am ready for the next chapter, but the way this next chapter involves real life is utterly terrifying. Exciting, but scary.
I can not begin to explain the life I have created (all by myself!) here. All of the things USC has brought me is insane and I truly, truly will be forever grateful for that. As I have said before (And what I have to keep reminding myself of) is that I am so damn lucky to have something that is so hard to say goodbye to.
The memories I have made, even in the past year are times I will literally forever cherish and continually look back on.
And I truly have to thank the people that made this place home. Throughout my experience there were ups and downs obviously. Mentally and physically I struggled. But when I think about these past few years, the good outweighs the bad.
I think about when I had to say goodbye to my childhood home and it is a bit similar. The physical house that I grew up in as a child compared to the physical house I grew up in as a young adult. It will always be the memories tied to the place. But just because I am leaving does not mean there is not such good to come. I do know the best is yet to come, but it does not make it any bit easier to say goodbye. I avoid goodbyes… I hate them!
I will miss when we would all wake up hungover from the night before. We would roll the windows down, grab coffee, and sit on the porch for hours after scarfing down fast food.
Coming downstairs and talking about our nights laughing until I could not breath. Or when I would go into my roommates room and lay on their bed because it was my comfort spot. Walking back from class with buddies and talking about our plans for the night. Watching sports, and being there to see the basketball team take home the SEC ship and win march madness.
Not only the memories but the connections. Knowing I could walk into my roommates room and look through their clothes. Sharing and being there for each other. Holding each other while one of us cried and laughing together endlessly. Having a fifth roommate who didn’t live here but still had our house key and was the honorary member. It makes me so damn happy inside to know I have these deep connections with people I care so much about and I know they would do anything for me. Yes college is fun. You have the partying, relationships, dates, trips, and more. But to me college was about my girlfriends. That is where my best memories lie, with my people who made this place my home. They are my one constant throughout these past four years.
Pics from senior year
Going home will be weird, or different. I have been away for the past few years and grown my independence. But if you are in the same boat we have to remember it is temporary. We can not put so much pressure on ourselves to have it all figured out. We are only 22 for god's sake.
Easier said than done.
But to look back on those times when you were so happy. It makes it all worth it. If you did not go through the change you did before those times you would not have that. Let's say right before I went to college I was shaking with nerves, but if I did not go through that period how would I have gotten to that good part? If we don't stick it out and let life take course, get uncomfortable, go through hard times we may never reach those memories that stick forever.
And again, another reminder, how lucky are we that it is so hard to say goodbye to something. How lucky are we that we had the chance to experience something so great and life changing, that it almost hurts to walk away. But this what we need to grow, explore, expand.
This is also the time to say fuck it. Wanna move to Australia for a couple months, do it. Wanna live in a van, do it. Wanna just travel everywhere, do it. Wanna go get your masters, or try out multiple jobs, do it. Because why not. We are not tied down to anything, and we are adults with freedom.
The in between period is scary, sad, difficult, frustrating, aggravating, confusing, straight up weird. But also beautiful. Because we have all these opportunities in front of us right?
(and give me one month I will probably have to come back and read that for myself as a reminder, trust me)
We get in our heads, it is hard not to but those positive reinforcement thoughts are what will drive us. You will figure it out, you always have. Right now my plan is to go home and get situated. That is literally it. I keep saying “god I have to go home and figure out my life!” But do I? At 22, how? I don’t, bottom line. I just have to figure that second, minute, hour, day, and then week out. Step by step, that is the plan.
So so so much can change in a year so just remember that. Look at yourself a year ago things were probably so different. Now look at yourself now. You have had wins no matter how big or small they may seem.
Life is a journey filled with transitions, and the in-between moments are a significant part of this process. These periods of change can feel like a weight on our shoulders, but they are also opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Reflecting on our past desires and aspirations, we realize that what we are experiencing now might have been exactly what we once wished for. It's a reminder that our perspectives evolve over time, and what seems daunting today may become a cherished memory in the future.
As we transition it's essential to embrace the uncertainty and possibilities that lie ahead. The world is full of opportunities waiting to be seized, and it's up to us to make the most of them. This moment, right now, is ours to shape and define. Despite the challenges we face, we must remember that we are capable of overcoming them, just as we have done in the past.
We got this, we always have and we always will.
xxx Kay
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