One year

A lot can change in a year

A reoccurring thought I have been having recently is how much can really change in a year. I look back to where I was physically and mentally a year ago and think god damn. Not only have I grown but I feel as if my life has done a whole 360. If you told me a year ago, that I would be sitting in my apartment in South Carolina listening to Morgan Wallen on repeat, writing a blog post, going to bed at 10:30 feeling satisfied I would think you were insane. But now that is my new normal and I could truly not be happier.

Let me paint you a picture real quick, last year I was attending Penn State where I was a freshman and the most lost I had ever been in my whole entire life. My day consisted of getting up late in the day, attending an online class, going down to get food, hitting the gym, sleep, constantly on repeat. I barely saw anyone and just focused on getting to the next break so that I could go home and try to believe everything would be okay.

I would wake up to the same shit and that shit was doing absolutely nothing for me. It is crazy how a certain atmosphere can change the way your life goes. Anyways I would be up till dawn journaling, or trying to figure out what to do the next day so that I could get out of bed.

I was also freezing my ass off, where in South Carolina the weather tomorrow is 79 sooooo. Even though I have physically changed where I am since a year ago I have also changed mentally. I have grown into a person I dreamt of being, simply not giving a fuck and doing what makes me

happy. And trust me there is still plenty of growing to do, I am literally only 19 years old, and still am full of goals for myself.

(also that pic is me a year ago, the day I moved back into psu, simply shitting my pants with nerves, and low-key you can see it all over my face)

But I started putting myself and my happiness first. About a year ago I cared so much what people thought of me that it revolved around my happiness. Which led to the dictation of my mood. That went from what I was wearing to how many friends I had to going to the coolest parties.

As long as certain people thought I was living it up and having the time of my life that’s what mattered to me. Because yes maybe on Saturday night I was dancing and socializing and singing, but on Sunday morning I was begging my Mom to pick me up and take me home. Basically yah never know.

(I made my dorm extremely cozy, and would get the best sunsets, those were nice)

I would post on social media every-time I was having fun or with people or looked pretty just to prove something. However today, I deleted snapchat, unfollowed a couple hundred toxic people, post what I want, and started this blog. Social media was controlling my life and now, a year later I do not feel that weight on me. I think it is because I finally feel happy where I am and surround myself with people who are good for my mental health.

Whenever I blog I tend to ramble about other topics but I think thats what makes it so chill and relatable. I am definitely not trying to write you a structured five paragraph essay blah blah blah.

Anyways a year can change a shit ton and I am sure plenty of y’all can relate to that. (See a year ago y’all wasn’t even close to being in my vocabulary)

What I am trying to say is no matter what happens you should be damn proud of your growth from a year ago. No matter how small or big. Who gives a shit if you just started journaling or cured cancer. Any positive change is growth.

This is a picture is of me today, clearly genuinely happy, surrounded by good ass people. See what I am saying in how much can change. You can literally tell by my face and smile how much has changed.

Sometimes a year can feel like a decade, or it can even feel like a week. Butttt I am asking you to look back on yourself and just reflect on your life a year ago. What’s changed? What do you want to change? And what the hell is holding you back from starting that change today?!

Xox Kay