Friendships

I truly think that friendships are one of the best gifts of life. I have been through my fair share of friends and have learned the qualities that I should be surrounded by.

Let’s start from the beginning.

Growing up I was extremely lucky to be blessed with a best friend. We did everything together, spending literal days just messing around and hanging. One kinda sad thing is I remember thinking why cant I just be her, and have her life, looks, and mannerisms. But, that’s a whole new subject that I will dig into later in time.

Anyways I not only had my best friend at school I also had my family, and still do. I have the best cousins and obviously always have my siblings. Even though my brother and I would quite literally fist fight, and at the time I always won… obviously. Now he would definitely kick my ass, as much as I hate to admit that.

At that young age, let’s say elementary school era, I thought a friend was supposed to just make you happy and if they made you feel less, oh well, because you enjoy each other’s company. As we both matured we began to grow apart (as friends do) and I was lucky enough to have another best friend basically from second grade on. It sounds like I bounce from friend to friend but honestly I am the type of girl to stick to friend and keep that relationship going. I definitely am not a bouncer. (People do change)

I still talk to this one friend and will always always value their friendship because he really showed me how a friend is to act towards you. I swear to god I have never laughed harder in my life than with him. We were quite the pair you could say.

As life got in the way and time went on I switched schools and my life took a 180. I started creating new friendships in middle school and was having an amazing time. I like to think of that time as more an experimental era because I was trying my best to find my people in a new atmosphere. Also, you’re still a baby in middle school even though I would never ever admit that at the time. Basically you still have a lot of learning and growing to take on.

The beginning of high school was tough, I felt as if I had one friend and to be honest, I hate to say it but that was an extremely toxic relationship. I always felt shit and like I was not enough for her or anyone. It was that type of thing where its their way or no way. And that is not something you want to be surrounded with. You can not surround yourself with people who make you question if you are good enough.

But, by the grace of God sophomore year I finally found my people. One of my best friends to this day asked me to sit with her and her friends at lunch and since that day my life has changed forever. I finally understood what it was like to be wanted by friends and surrounded by people who want to bring you up.

(babies in that earthy pic aka beginning of our friendship)

I am not gonna lie the beginning of this relationship was a little tough, just joining a friend group if that makes any sense. But as time went on we all became closer and closer and they took me in with open arms, I truly have never been happier with my friends. ( still me best friends to this day by the way ;))

Throughout my school years I always struggled with friends because I would put their feelings first and obsessively care about what they thought about me. But when I finally met people who liked me for me I did not feel that pressure to make everything perfect just so they would stay friends with me. It sounds sad but at the time I thought it was normal.

College friends are something that also came later in the process for me. Throughout first semester of my freshman year I struggled to find people I could be myself with, who made me feel loved. But as time went on I met the best people. Sometimes I think about why I was sent to Psu, then I think it was literally to meet these amazing friends I made and will know for the rest of my life.

It was hard to tell them I was transferring, but yah know what they said, something along the lines of you will be missed, but we just want you to be happy. Good friends support friends!!

Anyways as I transferred I was so sad in the beginning because I did not have those close relationships at school anymore, I had to start over. Buttttt again by the grace of god my friends were literally handed to me through being my roommates. College friends are different than home friends because you become incredibly close in such a short amount of time and they become your new comfort and home.

I am not gonna lie it takes me a while to warm up and get comfortable with people, that’s nothing on them, that’s just how I role. But now I love my college friends and I could not imagine my life without them.

To me friendship is not about just hanging and having fun. It is about being present for each other. This can branch off to many different ideas. I am going to start with just checking up on each other. When my friends or even family send a quick text, or call literally saying anything from hi to how are you doing to asking about events in my life, my heart melts. It is something that I value and to me it shows how much they care and want to be involved in my life.

Another aspect of being present is showing up. Supporting your friend and listening to anything and everything going on throughout their life. Whether I am talking about what I made for breakfast or how my dog is dying my friends will listen and help me get through it. Okay the dog dying was a littleeee uncalled for. Moving on… friends are there for the good shit and bad shit.

Another thing I have picked up is being happy for your friends successes. If you have a friend who brings you down on something you love or an accomplishment you have they should be happy for you. I remember high school graduation as my friends names were called and I saw each of them walk across the stage I started to tear up. And I am not a cryer, and have never told anyone that soooo guess its out now. Oh well. I was just overwhelmed with emotions and proud of them.

I am not trying to tell you what you or your friends should be doing. I am not painting the perfect friendship either because everyone is different. My value of friendship can look as different as the next person. Trust me I am not saying I am the master of all knowledge, or some shit. I am just giving my input as to what I value in friendships.

As I look back I realize that the friends I have in my life in the moment are truly the best friends I have. That ranges from home friends to college friends (both colleges I attended ;)) to family and more. Throughout high school and mostly all school except for college to be honest I always wondering why I did not have a million friends or a solid best friend throughout my experience. But now as cheesy as it sounds, quality over quantity baby. Once you realize how you should be treated in relationships you can never go back to those shitty toxic ones. The ones that leave you wondering why you are not good enough.

I can never shut up about my friends because I have so much love and appreciation for them. They dont even realize how much I want to see them succeed and be the happiest. The people in my life are friends I will forever have in my life. They bring me joy and remind me how amazing life and companionship to to feel.

I just visited Rhode Island and saw my besties from home, my dad called me as I was sitting at the airport gate and said I sound really calm. I sat back and said “Yeah, you know those friends, they’re home, and when I am with them I am happy and comfortable.” My dad then said “isn’t it so nice to be around friends who love and care about you”. And he was 100 percent right it is refreshing being around friends who just get you.

So even though throughout my school years I struggled with friends, (as everyone does) I think its mostly because I struggled with myself too. But now I have the best people in my life and I love every single one of them to the core. I truly believe friendship is one of the greatest gifts of life, as cheesy as that sounds. I just know that without these amazing people in my life I would not be as happy as I am today. They bring out the better in me and allow me to strive to be better for them. Surround yourself with good, take it all in when you finally find those amazing people.

xox

Kay