Dealing With Difficult People

We have all had our fair share of dealing with people that tend to grind our gears just the right way. Everywhere you go from the grocery store to work to classes, any environment. When someone is treating me badly or I am just so over it I get snappy. Not my best trait but I just can not take the bad treatment. And you should not either.

I get angry easily, I think it is more of a patience thing though. I like to think I just don’t put up with anyone’s shit, but in the back of my head I get annoyed very easily. As do most people. I just had to learn how to deal with it, and be the bigger person.

My first piece of advice is the 24 hour rule. Wait. Just wait. Whenever something happens I tend to spend time by myself, calling my mom and dad usually wanting their input, and thinking about the subject. Okay did I mess up? What hurts? How do I react? How do I not make the same mistakes again?

This happened to me the other day and I got my ass up and went for a long walk. Hot girl thinking walk. I put on some backseat lovers and just tried to focus on the walk.

The only problem in your life now is to walk about that big damn hill on campus, I told myself. Worry about the present and focus on what is directly in front of you. Then later we deal with the rest. Sometimes on my walks I catch myself dancing, kinda, eh finger tapping we could say. I actually remember last year I was so happy I had just finished my finals and spring break was upon us, I was singing out loud bopping my head walking home. Someone saw me when they were driving and smiled. I think about that a lot. Lowkey felt like the beginning of a really good rom com. (just saying)

Anyways I know everyone is different and handles situations to their variation, but for me if I immediately go into things head on my emotions will end up getting the best of me. I will snap, say things I probably do not mean, cry, shake, anything. But if I sit back and take time for myself and think about the situation I can handle it in a mature way. Going through tough stuff makes you realize more about yourself. Seriously though. Might sound obvious, but every single shitty thing that has happened to me has made me a better person. Same for you, you might just not realize.

This summer at work I had to deal with some tough customers, and employees honestly. When you do your job well, and then have to carry the slack of the other person it can be the most annoying thing in the world. And I am talking just hostessing, imagine a big girl job and your partner does not keep their word. No, no, no, that ain’t flying in my office. But it is annoying and makes me so angry, we get paid the same, we

should be splitting up the work. I think it shows a lot about a person. For me, any job I have I am going to work hard, whether I am cleaning a house, or presenting to the CEO. I will do my best, for me, my morals. What I had to realize is that some people just do not work like this. Everyone was raised differently, acted differently, treated differently. We have to adapt. Literally not one singular human on this earth is the same person. So how can we expect every person we come across to have the same work ethic, drive, compassion, friendliness, kindness, anything. Guess the answer... we can’t. It is hard especially if you are like me and prefer to be in control.

When I was working with this one person over the summer and they treated me so incredibly horrible, I snapped. I was so fed up. But then I was just like okay honestly the fact that they are acting that way is embarrassing for them not me. People’s actions are always a reflection of themselves. I thought, okay it is not me, it is literally just this person, and that is sad for them that they think it is okay to act like that.

Back to the idea of adapting. Change is hard, I have talked about it before it sucks most of the time because new=scary. Scary=uncomfortable.

I like to use the idea of my transferring as something that was utterly terrifying, but so worth it in the end. I hated where I was at, never felt I belonged, constantly anxious, seeking something new constantly. And do not get me wrong I had good friends, not good friends, amazing friends. I always say I was meant to go there to meet them because they're forever friends. Those kinds of friendships make you realize how good of a person you are, you attract what you give out baby. Anyways, transferring was a last minute decision kind of. I told literally no one except my friends from home and my parents. To be honest it took me months to tell my parents I was terrified. But then once I went through the whole process, the stars basically aligned for me at USC, and I came here. When I went home for Thanksgiving Break I was sad to leave my college town. SAD. How crazy is that? I never felt that before and I realized my tough decision paid off. It sucked, and I am not saying I never struggled, because I did. I am just saying the good things take time. The harder something is the more it pays off, for real. Just think about a situation in your life, whether it is starting a new job, going to your new class, talking to that person who sits next to you everyday, moving, cutting people off, opening up to others. Simply horrifying, but have you ever done anything new and completely regretted it? Okay maybe yes.. But still you would not be where you are today without that.

At the end of the day people are difficult. Period. I am difficult. You are difficult. Your dog is even difficult. It just depends on who you surround yourself with, and how you react. Reaction really says a lot about a person. Like I said, give it time, do not

explode.

Most of the time, exploding will only make things worse. When we are in intense situations we tend to say things we do not mean, react and yell, who knows. Basically the 24 hour rule, that's my main point. We can try to give it a fun name, like 24 hour caos. 24 or nothing. I don’t know, just brightening the mood.

Again I have been reading yet another self help book, and not gonna lie it gets exhausting. Constantly working on yourself and thinking you can only have certain mindsets, or actions. The books help, but also do not put too much pressure to constantly read, meditate, whatever. I did that for a while, guilting myself when I did not wake up, stretch, meditate, journal, manifest, listen to music. It is just not realistic. Instead I think okay Kayla just do one of those things. Just one. Even if it is making your bed or screaming. Who knows, everyone's different right. But there’s this stigma behind having a perfect morning routine, waking up at 6 am, doing all these things for a successful day. It drives me crazy. Because everyone is different. For a good day I might wanna wake up and just stretch, maybe you need to take a cold shower, read, watch tv, I don't know anything. The hardest part is just finding out what works best for you.

But the book was saying you are in control of your thoughts. If a bad thought comes, which it will because that is called being normal, then you just have to acknowledge. Hey bad thought get away for now. You can not realistically constantly think positive it just does not happen. We do not work like that. Instead acknowledge a thought, then let it go, over time you will program yourself to not think so badly. (ps I am still working on this, and it is damn hard, but it helps me)

After sidetracking let's get back to difficult people. When you hear the words difficult people, what do you think? Do you think of a person, a place, a thing? Gonna be honest the first thing that comes to my mind is pure anger. Because who the heck wants to deal with difficult people? Anger comes with impatience, it all ties together really, I think.

I have realized my posts start with a concept and then spider web to different ideas, I like that because I am literally typing what I am thinking. My style is like a journal. We’re all friends here, this is a safe place.

Something I want to start is giving a journal entry every post. An idea I have is to write a letter to your little baby self. Heal that inner child baby (as my dad would love to say) But seriously it may help.

Xxx

Kay